How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: 17 Proven Ways To Do So
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – It’s been a while since you and your ex-girlfriend split but time doesn’t heal your wounds.
You can’t seem to get her out of your head, as much as you try to do so.
Or you two have just ended your relationship but you are convinced that breaking up was a bad decision.
Either way, it is more than obvious that you still have feelings for her and that you would like to get back together with her.
However, the truth is that you simply don’t know how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
You don’t want her to start seeing you as some pathetic loser who is begging her to come back but you have to find a way to approach her.
What is the best way to do so without scaring her away? Should you let her come to you or should you start chasing her right away?
If these are some of the questions that have been bothering you, you’ve come to the right place because you’re about to get some tested pieces of advice on how to get your ex- girlfriend back that work like a charm.
Forget about all of your fears and self-doubts because our relationship expert is about to teach you how to get your ex-girlfriend back the easiest way possible, without looking desperate in the process.
All you have to do is follow this effortless step by step guide and I promise that winning her back will be a piece of cake.
1.Think about the reason for your break-up
Before you learn how to get your ex-girlfriend back, firstly you have to get to the bottom of your break-up.
Let’s face it—the two of you broke things off for a reason and something clearly wasn’t working that well in your relationship.
Well, you can’t expect everything to go back the way it used to be before processing your break-up.
You need to think about the reasons for it and the way it happened before trying to save your relationship.
I’ll be honest—if you insulted or in any way humiliated your ex while leaving her, getting back together will probably be quite difficult.
On the other hand, if she did that to you, it’s time you reconsider your desire to reconcile with her because she might not deserve you.
So, what exactly happened? Why did you and your ex-girlfriend decide to go your separate ways?
Was there cheating involved? Was one person abusing the other?
Did you guys understand that you had some fundamental differences that you couldn’t surpass?
Or did you just have a huge fight that now looks foolish from this point of view?
Did you both think your break-up through or did it happen in a moment of anger?
How did the break-up happen? Did you say some things you both regret or did you do it the mature, civilized way?
These are all the important questions you need to answer yourself before proceeding with the making-up process.
What you need to know is if this break-up is something you can overcome and if it is something you can forget.
If you get back together, will it be a stepping stone between you two or can you move on with your relationship as if nothing has happened?
The truth is that sometimes breaking a relationship off is the best possible option because getting back together would be a living hell.
Sometimes people walk away from each other in the most disgusting, humiliating way and when that happens, a relationship has no future and you just have to accept it, as much as it hurts.
2. Think about who was the one who initiated the break-up
Another thing you need to think about is who was the one who ended things. Was the decision mutual or did one of you dump the other?
Whose fault was the break-up? Did your ex leave because of something you did or did she do so simply because she stopped loving you?
If you were the one who broke things off, it will probably be easier to get your ex-girlfriend back.
Of course, she is probably hurt and angry at you for leaving her but she likely wasn’t ready to end your relationship and she wasn’t the one who thought she’d be better off without you.
If this is the case, you just need to show her that you’re actually a nice guy who regrets his decision and convince her that you’d never do it again if you could go back in time.
Also, you have to be patient and wait for her to understand that you are serious and that you don’t plan on playing with her, if she gives you another chance.
However, if your ex was the one who walked away from you, the situation is trickier, especially if she didn’t make this decision as a consequence of your actions.
You can’t run after her because that would give her the green light to come and go whenever she wants and it would make her think that she can dump you whenever she feels like it and you’ll always beg her to come back.
That means that you need to find a way to make her understand by herself what she lost by.
The best option would be to make her come to you, apologizing for breaking your heart and asking you for a second chance.
3. Admit your feelings to yourself
The next step in the process of getting your ex back is being honest with yourself before initiating a conversation with her.
Instead of suppressing your emotions and trying to run away from them, embrace them and get in touch with them.
Do you really love this girl? Or is it just lust you’re feeling?
Why do you really want her back? Is it to prove to yourself that you can have her whenever you feel like it?
Is it because you don’t want to allow some other guy to have her?
Is it because you think you’ll never find a girl like her? Do you want her back just to fix your broken ego or because you can’t live without her?
Are your feelings more important than your pride and ego? Or is it the other way around?
Do you miss her? Or do you miss being in a relationship?
Do you want to get back together with her out of habit and because you’re used to having her around?
Are you scared of stepping out of your comfort zone or do you honestly care about her?
Is it possible that you just don’t want to go back to being single?
That you despise modern dating and that you’re tired of searching for the right person?
That you’d rather go back to someone who is familiar to you than going through the process of getting to know some new girl?
These are all the questions you’ll have to give honest answers to before learning how to get your ex-girlfriend back because they will determine your path to doing so and they will help you see whether you really want this person in your life or not and whether fighting for her is worth it or not.
4. Remember your mistakes in the relationship
After you’ve come to terms with your emotions, the next step is to go back to the past and think your entire relationship through.
It’s to continue being honest to yourself and to take full responsibility for your words and actions.
No matter who said the final goodbye, every relationship is a two-way street and yours was no exception.
That means that both you and your ex made some mistakes which led to your break-up.
Firstly, focus on the things you did wrong. What are the things you’d like to change if you could?
What was it that bothered your ex the most while the two of you were together?
Do your best to be as realistic as possible.
Instead of justifying yourself and making excuses, try acting like an outsider and be frank about the wrong moves you made.
However, don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t put all the blame on you only either.
Even when you understand all of your mistakes, remember that beating yourself up won’t get you anywhere.
Instead of wasting your energy on self-resentment, be aware that you can’t go back in time and that you can’t erase all of your wrongdoings.
Nevertheless, what you can do is make sure you don’t repeat your mistakes.
What could you do to satisfy your ex, if you two get back together, without losing yourself in the process?
Think about the things you are ready to do differently, if you get another chance.
Also, be frank about the parts of your personality you know you could never change, as much as you would want to.
5. Remember her mistakes in the relationship
The same goes for the mistakes your ex-girlfriend made in the past.
I know that you miss her like hell now and that all of her flaws appear irrelevant from this point of view but I’m begging you to be realistic about her the same way you are with yourself.
Also, you can’t expect to fix your broken relationship if you plan on holding grudges forever so please be honest and think about if you’re ready to forgive your ex for all of her mistakes.
Are you really ready to forget everything that she did to you without going back to the past every time you argue?
Can you accept her for who she really is, together with all of her imperfections and the parts of her personality you don’t like?
Or do you expect her to change the essence of her being just for your sake?
Do you think that she could make some differences to her behavior and stop doing the things that bother you?
Do you think that there is a possibility for her to understand her mistakes and to take responsibility for them?
Let’s make one thing clear—no matter what happens, if you and your ex get back together, don’t expect her to miraculously become someone else.
She will still essentially be the same girl you used to be with and if that is someone you can’t accept, don’t even bother trying to win her back.
6. Think about if your problems are fixable
The truth is that no relationship is perfect and they all have issues.
No matter what someone tries to make you believe, every couple argues and fights from time to time.
However, there is a huge difference between some small disagreements which can be easily resolved and between real-life problems that can’t be fixed, as much as both of you try to do so.
Maybe you have different worldviews, different future plans or something that can’t be forgiven happened in the past.
Either way, the point is the same—even if you don’t want to admit it, there are times when a romantic relationship is doomed to fail, no matter how hard you try to save it.
Times when a relationship is broken beyond repair and when there is nothing you can do about it but accept the harsh truth.
So, if you’re wondering how to get your ex-girlfriend back, one of the things you simply have to do before anything else is to reconsider your problems realistically.
Even though you have strong feelings for this girl and even if she cares for you back, remember that sadly, sometimes love isn’t enough.
That is why you should find the strength to disregard your emotions as much as possible and think about if this relationship really has a future.
Are the two of you even compatible?
Will you go back to breaking up if you reconcile now or will you be able to learn from your mistakes?
Do you see the possibility of building a life next to this girl?
If you are convinced that a second chance for your relationship would make things right, do your best to learn how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
Nevertheless, if you know deep down that your problems can’t be resolved, please face reality and don’t try gluing back together what cannot be fixed.
7. Don’t bad-mouth her
It’s natural for you to feel all kinds of negative emotions when your relationship ends, especially if you’re the one who’s been left behind.
You feel betrayed, abandoned, bitter and above all furious about the fact that the girl you still love walked away from you so heartlessly, without taking your emotions into consideration.
When this happens, you have the urge to share your disappointment with the world.
You want to take off her mask of a nice girl and for everyone to see what an asshole she really is.
One of the golden rules of every break-up is not to talk trash about your ex, even if you don’t plan on reconciling with them.
It doesn’t matter what she did to you—talking badly about her behind her back is off-limits.
After all, this is the person you spent so much time next to and someone you share incredible memories with and there is no need to ruin that, despite the terms of which the two of you split.
Besides being disrespectful toward your ex and toward your past relationship, bad-mouthing your former romantic partner means that you are bad-mouthing yourself, as well.
She was your choice and your significant other for so long, so it means that you’re no better than her, as long as you stayed by her side for so long.
This is especially the case if you’re planning to learn how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
She doesn’t have to find out that you went on blabbing about your relationship and about her flaws but you’ll definitely feel bad about doing so when the initial anger and resentment are gone.
I know you’re hurt right now but don’t let the pain overwhelm you and make you act like the immature brat you’re not.
Accept this break-up as an adult and once she sees that you still respect her, even though you guys aren’t together, trust me that you’ll have a bigger chance of winning her back.
8. Don’t be too clingy
As soon as you start missing your ex, the first thing you want to do is call her and beg her to come back.
You’ve heard the saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and you feel the need to prevent her from forgetting all about you, thinking that you should start chasing her while it isn’t too late.
You feel like you’ll go crazy if you spend another day without her and you are convinced that explaining the situation and being clear about your pain is exactly the way to winning her back.
However, I’m sure you don’t want her to be with you out of pity or sympathy, do you?
I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but you need to know that this is the last thing you ought to think about doing.
Being too clingy is never attractive and it can only make her run away from you even further.
Trust me—if you become too needy now that you guys have split, your ex will just think of you as desperate.
She’ll have the impression that you can’t live without her and will definitely use that to her own advantage.
Don’t get me wrong—-there is nothing shameful in showing your ex-girlfriend that you still have feelings for her.
After all, this girl has been a part of your life for a long time and it would be impossible to get over her in a split second.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you should show her that just because you love her, she can treat you the way she wants.
Instead of being too clingy the moment she walks away from you, never forget to keep your dignity and pride.
Don’t allow her to humiliate you in any way and don’t give her the green light to keep leaving you and coming back as she likes.