Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship – Relationships are complex organisms, so it’s difficult to define the overall dos and don’ts. However, some behaviors cross the line no matter what. If your partner’s engaging in any of the following, it may be time for you to think carefully about where your relationship is headed and whether you’re getting the treatment you deserve.
Top 15 Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship
1. Emotional Or Verbal Abuse
So many of us accept emotional abuse without realizing it. Physical abuse comes with bruises you can see, but emotional abuse is characterized by manipulative comments and controlling behavior that cause self-doubt. Live Bold and Bloom explains, “The victim of the abuse often doesn’t see the mistreatment as abusive. They develop coping mechanisms of denial and minimizing in order to deal with the stress.”
The behavior of emotional abusers may seem insignificant at first, but ongoing degrading treatment is representative of a much deeper issue. Behaviors to keep an eye out for include humiliating you in front of family, friends, or co-workers, forcing you to ask permission before you can go somewhere, taking anger out on you whether or not the problem has anything to do with you, insulting you and calling you cruel names, and threatening you in order to maintain control — and the list goes on. Long-term emotional abuse can result in low self-esteem, withdrawal from family and friends, depression, illness, anxiety, and giving up on goals. You do not deserve this treatment, but recognizing and leaving an emotional abuser is a process that takes time. Take advantage of available resources and hotlines as you gather the courage to leave the relationship.
2. Physical Abuse
If your partner is physically abusing you, gathering the courage, strength, and ability to leave is a long, difficult process that can be complicated by economic barriers, among other issues. So be kind to yourself, while also recognizing that you do not deserve this treatment and have every right to leave the relationship. When you have decided that you are ready, there are precautions and steps to take in order to make your transition easier and safer. These include gathering any evidence of the abuse should you decide to press charges, having at least two escape plans and a predetermined safe place to go, and packing a bag with cash, medication, legal documents, a change of clothes, etc.
3. Monitoring Your Activities
Just because you’re dating somebody, doesn’t mean they need to know where you are or what you’re doing 24/7. They should respect your need to be by yourself and maintain a certain level of privacy when you’re already sharing so much of who are you with them.
Someone who claims to care about you has zero right or reason to put you down. It may not seem like a big deal that he said you sounded stupid asking his friend some question, but how would you feel if your friend chastised you for the same thing? Chances are, you probably wouldn’t put up with it.
4. Control Over Your Wardrobe
Sure this person is going to be seen with you in public a lot. Even so, deciding what looks good on you and what doesn’t is an encroachment on your personal taste, sense of style, and, ultimately, freedom. You should never have to give that up because you’re worried about what someone who’s allegedly so close to you thinks.
5. No Acceptance Of Your Friends
If your significant other refuses to spend any time or expend any effort getting to know your friends, then you can write him or her off as someone who doesn’t care about you. Your friends are an extension of who you are, to a certain level, and a significant other should realize that.
6. Avoidance Of Your Family
You’ll have to accept that tolerating your family may not be everyone’s favorite thing to do, let alone your own. However, if your significant other refuses to make the compromise to spend time with them on at least major holidays, you’ve got a real selfish bastard on your hands.
7. A Partner Always Accusing You Of Cheating
You should not have to sever relationships with close friends because of your partner’s insecurity. If there are certain aspects of your friendships that make your partner uncomfortable, then you should absolutely listen to their concerns and evaluate how your behavior may be hurtful. However, if your partner constantly accuses you of cheating with one or multiple friends, despite the fact that you haven’t and there is no cause for suspicion, then something is wrong.
Your partner must recognize that you are a person outside of the relationship, and that you were a person before the relationship. That doesn’t mean you are unfaithful, or that they can speak to you like you are a cheater. All it means is that you are an independent, complex individual who has many people in her life for different reasons. This is especially dangerous because if you stay in the relationship without addressing the problem, you may find yourself pressured to actually stop hanging out with your friends. Also, take note of whether or not you accuse your partner of cheating with their friends, and if they hang out with their friends without any anxiety over how you will react. This double standard makes it even more obvious that you need to end their behavior, if not the relationship.
8. Of Course, Cheating Itself
Unless you guys are in an open/non-exclusive relationship, being intimate with someone else completely disregards your significant other’s feelings. Not only that, it has the potential to damage your relationship beyond repair in a permanent way.
9. Lies About Feelings
Telling your partner that you love him or her before you’re ready is only setting you both up for an emotional train wreck. Also, neglecting to express your love may keep your partner in the dark about something that could otherwise make him or her the happiest person on earth (at least, in his or her mind).
10. Daily Arguments
Couples argue—and that’s not something one can argue about. However, if you guys are doing it over everything, try to think about the last time you enjoyed each other’s company without a spat clouding the moment. If that’s hard to do, you’ve got something bigger to think about…
11. Refusal To Do Household Chores
Have you been assigned all the tidying up because you’re “better at it” than your significant other? Chances are, “better at” translates to “more willing to do.” Remind your partner that anyone with two hands is capable of folding laundry. this is among things you should never tolerate in a relationship
12. Extreme Laziness In Bed
Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship – If you’re noticing a replay of the dead fish routine, it’s time you started to expect more from your partner in the bedroom.
13. Unwillingness To Reciprocate In Bed
Almost worse than playing dead in the sack is the inability to return orgasmic favors. A strict “I don’t give head” policy should never fly in a relationship (unless both partners feel that way, which is… well, why judge?).
14. Inability To Provide Orgasms
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again… until it’s been six months and this person has still never managed to make you climax during sex.
Does your current partner get angry about your sexual history or number of past sexual partners? Does your partner call you a “slut” or “whore” if your outfit shows “too much skin”? Slut-shaming is your partner’s way of asserting control over your body; it is disgusting and has no place in a respectful, loving relationship.
I just outlined 15 Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship, please what your take?